Lazy Sundays Pt 2
So with the last post in mind, where I spoke about lazy sundays, this was the real one. For various reasons we decided to meet closer to her house, which meant that we ended up in park, chatting away and getting to know each other even better. Most of the time we just sat and chilled by a large paved area. Un-be known to most people, there is actually a water fountain hidden under the middle of this, that is scheduled to go off every half an hour, do its thing and switch off again. We watched it, and the many people going up to it - especially the curious kids who were sometimes too busy getting closer to realise they had inadvertently entered the fountain and then schpursh - a huge jet of water came behind and soaked them. Eventually we got hungry, bought an variety of foods to make an instant picnic and returned to the fountain area which was now full of people.
It was whilst chomping on our lunch that we noticed two out of towners playing baseball in this area, using the fountain center as their mound... well you can guess what happened!!! (
see photos below)
We laughed our asses off, and it was a very nice day, a perfect lazy sunday.
Lazy Sunday
Vita and I havent really had many opportunities to spend a big chunk of time together since I got here. It always seems that one of us has to go somewhere, to work or to interview, or something else that always means we kepe having a limited, or set time to spend together. Like, waiting for the end of an appointment, instead of just being free to enjoy the time...
Well, if you've been in the same situation you'd get my point, sometimes its just nice to hang out without knowing exactly when to say goodbye...
Since we already know when our time together has to finish, I guess the only way to stay spontaneous, is to do random things. Which is exactly how last week when I met Vita to go accompany her to hospital as she'd been having chest pains we ended up not doing that. Instead, we met up in the middle of Taipei and as we looked out of the coffee shop window I realised it was far too beautiful outside not to make the most of the outside, and by the time the sun was just starting to fall behind the skyscrapers of Taipei, we were in the world's fastest lift shooting to the top of the sky, we were going up 101, a hundred and one floors worth of steps were covered in just under a minute and we gazed out over the city as day became night.
Strangely, th eodd feeling you get with height isnt as powerful as it is in KL, I mean there, when I went up the Petronas Towers I was very aware of how I was. This was almost double that height, but maybe it wasnt so dramatic because in Kl the bridge lets you literally stand over the edge, yet the building and glass gets in the way here, oh and most importantly youre so high up that people aren't visible. You can just make out scooters on the gound and then people are, well smaller than ants. I guess the effect of the height isnt as powerful, but the eerieness is.
As I do admit that I prefer the architecture of The Petronas Towers I have to say why this building is worth going up and that's when you get to the top. Here you can actually go outside and look out over the city, you can no longer see the people at the bottom, but you can feel the strength of the wond rushing past you and chilling your cheeks. That feeling was strangely reminiscent of England. Like a dry day in Winter where the cold air cuts through your clothes and chills you instantly leaving everyone walking around with red faces. Then, like a winters day, when you get back inside, you are warmed and your face flushes, that's the lovely feeling.
The reason I mention it, is since that is a lovely memory from my home and however far away that home is, I can still make new memories here that stir up the same feelings.
Lord Martin Lives!
I am a fish, Lord Martin is my name.
I have been selected by God himself to rule over this kingdom, for those who doubt me, hear my story; for those who are already believers, watch my photos.
I believe its important for you to know who speaks right now. I am the
Swanfish, Lord Martin, Grand Protector of
Tepaitank. I have not always been so grand, or as fat as you see me today. Nor was I as aware of who I was and what my purpose was.
When I was just a small-fry I had no idea of what I would become, I was one of 300 brothers and sisters, born to two
Swanfish, although they both died soon after I joined
Mainetanque. I have few memories of those early days, just a vague blur of white and hunger, much hunger. By the time I was a fry-long (0.5 cm) half of my brothers had died and by the time I measured two-fry I had just 80 fellow siblings. I admit, I ate a few of them, but who doesn't when they're that age?
After a few weeks, due to my healthy diet of flakes, algae and small-fry, I was already the biggest baby in the tank measuring a whopping 5 fry! A few days after reaching this milestone, we were all free to leave the confines of our small world and into the larger
Mainetanque. Here I watched both of my parents die. Firstly my mother, who was very weak from birthing 300 eggs was nibbled by other, bigger fish until she couldn't swim on. Then my father, heart-broken just went off his food. It's strange, I saw they were sick, but within hours of them having stopped swimming, God had already taken them away.
By the time I had finished my schoaling and become a staggering 10 fry-long, it was time for me to move onto University. It was all quite simple really, I went to sleep one day, and then the next day I awoke in different surroundings. I was one of hundreds of fellow
Swanfish, in a whole world of other fish. Next door there lived some gigantic, I mean massive fish. They must've been at least 30 or even 40 fry in length;
Gauldfish I think they're called. The other side was home to some
Anjelfish whilst below, the
Siemese Fayting Fish were meditating, readying themselves for another bout. I could also see many Gods in there. The long-term fish told me the place is called
Fishop.
I had never seen anything like it before, I learnt so much in those few weeks, it really opened my eyes to a whole different world. I don't think I had really lived before I went, oh and it was the first time, I you know, met a
She-fish who wasn't my sister... And well, one fish plus one fish equals three-hundred if you know what I mean ;-)
All was great for me, I was part of the
Bowling Team, we were all great friends but would meet each day at the corner of the tank to test our strength in various events. I was one of the best wrestlers, although me mate Dave was an incredible athlete, the best all-rounder, he was fantastic. I could have lived there forever watching him bend over, heaving stones and going red with exertion.
Suddenly my world was turned upside down, spun around and shaken down. Literally!
It all started one evening when a black haired Goddess walked in and poked her finger towards our world, as always we swam over to see what She wanted, and maybe get a food-reward. I don't know what we did wrong, but within hours she had punished us with a huge earthquake, a typhoon and tsunami bigger than I have ever witnessed and the worst part was the tornado that scooped us up and confined us within its walls. I lost consciousness.
I drifted back into reality, unsure of what I saw. My best pals had disappeared, had they survived that Divine provocation?
I don't know.
My heart skipped a beat. I fled to the back of the tank. There infront of us was the same Goddess. The Divine Vita. She was staring in. I avoided her look and took to becoming aware of myself. Maybe I was the one who didn't survive?
Could this be heaven?
I looked around. I noted more trees but less fish. It definitely wasn't the University. A massive current full of bubbles shot above me, I moved closer but it was impossible to swim against that jet-stream. I was flung around and did a lap of the whole tank within split seconds. I must have gone at leave 10,000 fry per minute, a new record I must add. My heart was beating fast. I was scared, no, not scared, that was fun.
This new place was already feeling like home. More space, more trees, more air, my own little tank. Even if this wasn't heaven, I was beginning to like it.
I decided to take another look for my Uni-Buddies. I spent a few minutes surveying the tank, calling their names, but to no avail. Again the Goddess Vita pointed at me, then a new God, with golden hair pointed at me. I realised this was a sign. I was the chosen one. My fellow
Bowling Team Buddies weren't here because I had been chosen, chosen to lead this small group of adventurous in this hostile new world.
I had to make sure my sub-ordinates understood the sign as well. There were some Royal-Swan Fish in my tank so I quickly went about nipping their over-sized fins to make sure they knew who the boss was. Whilst going about this essential business, I thought about what to call this new domain of mine. Before my work was over I had named this place.
I am a fish, Lord Martin is my name. This tank is called
Tepaitank, I rule over all; this tank and its subjects!
Let the log show that I've pictured the lower echelons below, I am at the top of this posting.
Hundred Quid's Worth of Happiness
The last year has seen a big transition in my perceptions, a warning that I make to older friends before they read this, ... I can imagine what they think I've splurged a hundred quid on, and I would tell them that they're all wrong. (although the previous post may be the case against this argument...)
It all started whilst visiting Martin in Manchester, a huge night out on the piss which ended with us doing flaming sambucas in our mouths, doing shit dancing to old indy tunes and getting pissed off with the DJ for refusing to put The Music (The People) on.
Obviously the next day began with a huge headache for me, and worse, a hangover that even morphine couldn't have made less painful. However, it seemed like a good idea (for Tasha) to put the three hungover boys' bodies into the back of her car and drive us to an aquarium. The close-knit stench of day-old alcohol got me retching, but I was a good boy and kept it down. I could've killed N'tasha though, were it not for how cool the fish-shop was.
Suitably inspired and having turned over a newer leaf, where pickling my body in vast 'n varied drinks isn't priority no.1, but at least 2 or 3, I decided that adding a few little fishy friends to my life was the way to go. I had the whole tank planned out, I had wanted a tank to go on the second floor, but abandoned this plan since I didn't trust the two-by-two that holds up that 'bed', secondly the roof is still too hot to sleep in so Im stuck sleeping on the second floor, especially since I have started to get the 'den' area going, and the fish-tank is all part of that. Then it all came to me in a vision, I would line the wall of this bed-den area with a long narrow tank and fill it with light an underwater landscape and tropical fish. I had the whole thing pictured in my mind... then I realised how expensive and heavy that tank would be... the tank plus a few people sitting in the den would put around 300kilograms onto the wood, and I doubt it would support that much for that long. Hence a downsizing was on the cards, and I saw a cool tank. Smaller, but still cool, and this has a pine finish to match the den-decking.
But, the store owner, this friendly chinese lady refused to sell it to me coz I wanted to put it there. She said that it's really bad for Feng Shui, since one of us would end up having loads of admirers; I just said it was OK since we do already anyway (I teach high school girls and Vita is a secretary) but she made me opt for a cupboard stand. She was right anyway since it does look cool, and it fills the whole room with this semi-natural luminescence.
Next come the fish, and Vita has fallen for Swan Fish. They're these little, bulbously-cute black guys, with massive out-set eye casings and eye balls plus a podgy pot-belly; all intertwining together in a schoal. Vita likes them because they're fat bastards so every time you put your hand near the glass, walk past or just point at the greedy gits they all crowd around that point and look for some food. A lot like those static-electricity, "crystal ball" things from the 80's. You know where you put your fingers on the glass and streams blue and red electricity shoots out to meet them. Well, the same but with black and white fish! I was kind of in shock when she picked out these fish since we went in but as soon as she saw these guys and began playing with them she was instantly happy. That's where the title comes from. It’s taken me much longer to find fish that interesting, I mean I though pet had to be big, strokable and fun to be loved, but I guess making you happy is the most important, and really, fish are pretty damned low-maintanance in comparison.
Anyways, it means she wants like 30 of them in the tank so they're fun to point at (just one on its own would be a bit boring, since its the fact that a group pour over that makes it fun). I really just think she wants to feed them, since they must go nuts it there's actually food there! But we're mixing in a few other varieties... err in fact I think the swan fish are actually one of these mix in-ers and the ones she loves are something else... and then some white guys who are identical as well... jeez, I don't need to learn their names, I'll just sticka photo up soon ... I still wanna get like 10 fighting fish and watch them in a battle royale!!! Hey, its more in keeping with my fish keeping philosophy, stick 'em in the mix and whoever's left at the end of the month gets to stay... losers get flushed!
Then I'll learn their Latin name and give them a personal name.
(photo credit: Vita: Sentosa Aquarium, Singapore) (Vita on cell-phone, at home, MY TANK!!!)
It's a Dance-Off!
Glad to be out with Lavinia for a few drinks, headed straigh to Carnagies because, well, I'm white so it's perfect logic to assume I want to be in an American Bar. We quickly disposed of her healthy lifestyle. Being a very bad influence I had her drinking as soon as the bar could make her
Sex on the Beach and smoking before she'd put her bag down.
We chatted and got deep into the gorge of gossip, what was happening in our perspective lives and the latest people fired from ALV; the company we both had the misfortune of working for during the Singapore Summer Camp. Neither of us was fired tho'.
Before too long we had drunk through the Sex-based cocktail and finished off the Sex-based chit-chat, she had already phoned her boyfriend to break up with him for not repsonding to texts all week. Of course getting back with him because his excuse was good enough, a very drunk yank had polished off half my beer thinking it was his and was mid-way through chatting up a girl half the age of his daughter, his freind begging him home, but this guy's so pissed he thinks he's a celeb and deserves to be the center of attention. Most poeple are just concerned that he'll fall into them, leaving his slug-like trail of beer, sweat and slobber all over them.
He's out of the picture now though, coz our alcohol's working good for us, we're warmed up and ready to shake like Shakira, for our hips don't lie, and more so our butts are tired of sitting.
To Luxy.
There's one truth that all men must confess to.; that's their mutual love of short-shorts. Thank-heaven that Lavinia was wearing her shortest short-shorts, a little tight, white pair matched to a tighter white top. We left the queue behind us before we'd even seen where it was and walked straight down the VIP channel, so quickly in fact, that the security only had enough time to check out how this Whitened Angel (think mad Sci-Fi Barbarella look-alike since Lav's hair is pretty big and wild too, just black instead of blonde... see photo).
This meant that they didnt notice my sandels (thongs or flip-flops) until much later. By this time, we'd already paid in and were dancing on top of a lighted box behind the dancefloor. I dont know why heights make dancing more fun, maybe coz you dont have people knocking into you all the time. Anyway, we were dancing there, and strangely, the guys were buying me the drinks, an Austrian, a Brit and the Barman all got me a beer in, maybe to get into Lavinia's pants (as if there was any room - see pic!!!).
Well, there we are dancing around, and three tarted up Taiwanese chicks ask me something. I shrug and they tap Lavinia on the shoulder. It turns out they want to dance around their hand-bags on the stage, so I, being a Brit gent naturally step down to give them room. This rapidly turns into a dance-off as the three girls, and now Lavinia all compete with each other for the sexiest moves, thank-fully I wasn't involved since I was standing behind them all...
However, it didn't last long, as however much fun we were all having, the bouncer walked up to me, pointed at my feet and ugged. A few uggs, grunts and growls later I realised he meant that I couldn't wear flip-flops into the club, I mean its not like I tucked my trousers over them to hide them on the way in is it! He really refused to believet hat I hadn't smuggled such dangerous devices into the club and I don't think he would have appreciated me claiming Im a pre-op transvestite and since its OK for girls to wear any footwear it should be OK for me.
Luckily, Lavinia's feet are big enough, and she was wearing material converse, so I could get hers on and she was allowed to wear my sandels. Well, it was a great night out, but I still don't get why clubs ban guys from wearing flip-flops. I mean, they don't look as bad as sneakers/trainers in fact they look better than most trainers and go better with loads of clothes. Plus chicks get to wear them... really I should stick to the old rules... if a place isn't cool enough not to have a dress code, then its not cool enough for me ;-)
